THE LONG VERSION…

I started my subscription and event floral business, Florish, out of a home studio in 2016. The business grew into a studio in Columbus, Ohio and I had the pleasure of working with some amazing clients, including Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams, Tenfold, Cover My Meds, Women In Digital, and more. As business grew, so did my family. We welcomed our second baby boy in January of 2019 and made the decision to move our family to a homestead in the small college town of Granville, Ohio in January of 2020. Like many, my business temporarily shut down during the pandemic and I made the tough decision to move Florish back into a home studio. Trying to balance motherhood and a small business during a global pandemic was trying to say the least. In a time of uncertainty and after months of being shut down, I began taking on a substantial increase of work, including adding a large cut flower garden and re-launching a virtual creative small business mastermind for women.

And as the world began to return to a new semblance of normal, I found myself a passive piece in my business. Often saying “yes” to projects without asking the right questions. When feelings of resentment and mis-alignment crept up, I would become critical of myself. How could I be so ungrateful? Why couldn’t I handle both work and family life without something falling through the cracks? I ignored all of the warning bells, repressed all the feelings, and tried to carry on like nothing was amiss… until burnout.

Burnout is like an ember that starts to smolder. There’s smoke and you can see the small orange fleck starting to grow until all of a sudden, the flames burst out and start to consume everything. At least, that is how it felt for me. And once there were flames, I couldn’t put the fire out.

I think the embers started to appear after my second son was born. I vividly remember getting a text from an important client while I was in my second week of post-partum. I was holding my sleeping newborn, while watching my toddler play. The client was kindly letting me know that they were not happy with the quality of work they were receiving from the freelance designer who was hired to cover my maternity leave. I remember feeling this chasm of resentment because I knew that I wouldn’t be able to honor the boundary I had tried to establish for my maternity leave. I knew that the precious time I had with my newborn would be altered because I would be taking over the design work the following week instead of soaking up the newborn snuggles. I went back to work part-time, toting my sweet little newborn with me. It wasn’t the worst thing in the world, but it was the first sign for me that the life I wanted to provide for myself and my family was in conflict with the business I had created.

Over the years that chasm grew, and so did the resentment, frustration, and sense of helplessness. I tried to repress so much until the inner turmoil consumed me. Until I stopped feeling really anything about my business. No joy, passion, or excitement. It was just work. I felt beholden to it. I was stuck.

And then, without even realizing it, I started on a quest to dig myself out of burnout. I began leading discussions in my monthly virtual creative small business mastermind for women that would eventually become The Fireproof Method. And for the first time in a long time, I felt the spark of passion and joy in my work.

I think my purpose was always to help creative small business owners. That is the place I have always felt the most joy and meaning. That was the part of running Florish that I enjoyed the most, getting to meet and help other creative small business owners. I loved teaching others about systems, processes, apps, you name it. I loved the feeling of being able to help someone else and I felt so grateful that I had knowledge and experience to share. Florish was a huge part of my journey to creating The Fireproof Method. I had to experience the excitement, success, growing pains, misalignment, and burnout so I could learn the tools to help other creative small business owners avoid or escape burnout. And for that I am extremely grateful.